I'm baaack

I've decided to come out of blogging retirement..well it was more of a hiatus. But a lottt has happened since my last post. But why sit here and blog about the past..whether it was good, great, bad, or heart breaking. I must say I do feel like a part of me is missing. I know, Jennifer's back and she's complaining..I am. Buuut, it's weird. Something walks into your life and you never expect it to turn into what it does. Then again, you never expect it to end the way it did..or at the time that it did. Music is what keeps me alive these days. Every morning I wake up to music I leave playing all night. (I'm not gonna lie..I put Justin Bieber's song "One less lonely girl" on repeat and leave it on all night) and I put music on in the background while doing my school work, the rest of the day I'm singing it, and I listen to music in the endless hours before I fall asleep at night. It's what keeps me going.

Good Lord!

Sooo I'm really only on here because I skipped my school work the

past few days..I only did the bare minimum which would be assignments

to be turned in and not the 20 page reading lessons. (yes you read a TON

with online schooling). Soo if you do the math...I have 6 classes. One lesson

each day. I skipped some days, and I have todays, and then I'm doing tomorrow's

work (well I was planning on it anyway..) since I'll be gone all day. So as you

can see I'm kind of in a rut. I usually just do my school work every day and it

takes an hour or less to complete it since I usually work on it late at night.

(I decided to take my insomnia up on a more positive note and be productive

while I wait for sleep to come..) annnd now I've been sitting here since 11AM

(yes thats when I woke up) and its currently 1:30 PM and my attention, concentration,

learning ability is gone for the day..and I still have 4 days of US government/Politics

left annnnd 3 days of Pre-calc. UGHHH too bad the average American attention

span is only 20 minutes...and continuing to fall. Or else maybe I'd be able

to actually get this stuff done. I've been on every website I can possibly access

to try and avoid this. Apparently taking little "breaks" doesn't work. You

basically just shut down your thinking status in your brain and its

impossible to get it back up and running. OH well.

Its destiny

Never underestimate the power of true love, my friends.

Life can be tough, hard, cruel, rough, unfair, misleading,

and not as you would like it to be. But hang in there.

"If you're lucky enough to find that one person, the other

half of your heart, your true soul mate...hold on to them.

And never let them go."No I have no experienced true love.

I'm only seventeen. But I do believe my soul mate is out

there. I may or may not have met him. I may have a hunch

or I may be naive. But God is telling me to go on and be

strong. This is the only life I'll ever get. The good lord

made someone just for me. And He is watching me along

this long, endearing journey as I slowly make my way

along His path. And he smiles down upon me, like he is

tonight. And I return my heart felt smile. You should too.

Yes I had a very good night. It was probably one of the best in my life.

I am very happy and nothing can bring me down right now.

MISS BRANDIE I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU :) (& YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! )

Can somebody help me..

So I used to be a straight A student (with a few occasional B's, no biggie) and I used to stay up at night working on my school work for the next day or two or three. That's how crazy successful of a student I was. I don't know what's happening to me... I can't focus on my school work for anything! No, not just my school work... I can't read leisurely like I used to, I just can't focus on what I'm reading. I can't practice my violin for as long as I used to. I used to be able to stand there and play for almost an hour, and now I can barely do it for 10, 15 minutes tops. My grades at the moment are at an all time low, I have 2 D's, 3 C's, and 1 B. JENNIFER LYNN ELIZABETH WICKMAN! How the heck are you supposed to get into college? I dunno =\ Right now I have 6 classes worth of work to get done but I just CAN'T. You guys don't understand. I can't look at anything like I used to. What's wrong with me?! I can't sleep at night. My average time of falling asleep is around 5AM. If its any sooner I consider myself lucky. I have this kind of 'anxious' feeling all the time. It's weird. I'm falling apart at the seams and I don't even know what's going on!

I've just realized

I've been lying to everybody who's asked me "why did you leave Harrison?" or "Why do you do school online?" I make up excuses like "it's something different" or "because I wanted to help my mom around the house more" (that last one was one of my points in presentation when I was trying to get out of school actually, I said I'd be able to help out around home more since I'd be there more...it worked apparently.) The one reason that was true was "I absolutely hated it there. I couldn't stand it." This is the sad truth that I am only going to tell and talk about ONE time. And that is in this blog. For once I don't care who sees this and I don't care what they think or say to others. This is something that I JUST realized tonight. The truth is I'm trying to grow up too fast. Well that is the over all case in point. Those are the only words I can think to summarize all of my thoughts and feelings that I was going through towards the end of my brick & mortar (term for a school building) days. I really did hate it there. It might have been the winter months that caused those ugly days, and the teachers that weren't giving me the grades I worked for, and the kids who lived to party and do drugs and what not. I couldn't stand being in that environment. I felt myself and my education deserved better. (not that I'm better than anyone at Harrison. I know I'm not the only one who feels the same way, I just actually did something about it.) Anyway, I felt school tied me up. Around these months I had started getting lots of calls from agents and production companies that wanted ME to come and audition. No way was a rundown, bankrupt, nasty school building going to hold me back from my dreams. And that is the absolute real reason I left school. I'm not sure if my mom knows that to be the reason. She may have a hunch that something with my mass calling for auditions had crossed my mind as a good reason to leave, but not the main one.

Today on Facebook, I saw a video of the 'flash mob' the psychology classes did in the lunch room. Seeing the school in full effect, I actually-for the first time ever- felt a longing to go back. I wanted to walk those halls again smiling at my friends as I passed them in between classes, socialize at lunch and during classes. Be able to feel the relief and freedom of driving home in the afternoons, having a reason to put make up on and dress nicely for people to actually see me. I will never again admit that I want to go back. It will never happen so it is worthless to even try and persuade me. It will never work. I'll never be back. I do wish I hadn't tried so hard to put my high school days behind me. I may have a little under two years left, but I cannot help but feel a little upset with the fact that I am not longer apart of the Harrison school community. I do feel left out. But that was a choice of my own. I wanted out so badly that I never thought I'd see the day that I would feel even the smallest amount of what I'm feeling now. I wouldn't say that I regret leaving. I do like sleeping in, working for an hour or a little over on school work for the day, then having the rest of the day to myself. It's a sweet life. But not as sweet because you have no one to share it with...However, I will put this behind me and stick it out here at home through my graduation. Then it is off to college and away from this town forever, so why would it matter if I miss a year or two with people I may never see again? Like I said before I'm trying to grow up too fast. All I think about is college, then after that, and whats next, and when I should get married(I haven't even met the guy yet!), and how old I should be to have kids, and so on. Those things shouldn't be in my head at all. I just turned 17. This is the prime time of my teenage years. Why the heck am I trying to sprint full speed ahead of them? This is the only life I've got, and I should wish for it to go as slowly as possible. Every adult tells me "you're only young once, so enjoy it as much as you can." If only I could.

Texts from Last night

I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.

you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

if i died would you start the facebook group?

He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

LETS GO REDSKINS!
- Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.

Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did

all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.

some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page

youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?

How did people poop without Blackberrys?
- Motorola Razers?
- Stone age, man.

Meet Blanket

So after eating at Olive Garden for my birthday dinner (9 days late but hey, better late than never..), My mom had this brilliant idea to stop at Petsmart just to look at the kitties and doggies since we didn't feel like just going home. Well there was one tiny little kitten all alone in her cage and me being the amazing little girl who can make it look like her heart is breaking at the thought of leaving a kitten behind (for those of you who remember me talking about Summer from the no-kill animal shelter a few months ago..it was a sad heartbreaking ending..) and I wasn't about to have that happen a second time. So when we were holding her of course we fell in love. I named her Blanket 30 seconds after we first saw her and I knew if there was the slightest chance to get her I had to name her, and fast. Well it just so happens that during dinner the name Blanket, as in Michael Jackson's son, had come up and I declared this to be the name of my next dog...well it apparently ended up being a kitten that I'd unknowingly have within the hour. But the story behind the Blanket Jackson is Michael said the purpose behind it was "blanket of love". So for those of you who made fun of the child or my new kitten, think of that saying because I think it is a beautiful thing. Gorgeous. Blanket is now sleeping on a blanket right beside me and I could not be happier. I just hope the vet lets us know that she is healthy and won't contaminate the many other animals we have at the zoo here in my house. (4 dogs, now 4 cats, 2 gerbils, and one tiny robo dwarf hamster.)

"Mommywood" Tori Spelling

Her books just keep getting better and better. This book was mostly about her and her husband, Dean McDermott having kids and becoming a family, finding the right place to live together, making all of her mother/wife dreams come true, work, her show, he first book, her friends, where she lives, the problems she encounters on a daily basis, her creativity, her moments of embarassment, her children growing up, (well for the past year or two since they're young), her mother, her first book, her life as she has it and loves it. There's not much more to it for me to tell you about. Tori Spelling has an interesting life that the world loves watching on TV and reading in her books. And I'm just one of those people.

Feel free to laugh...

For anyone who cares I have a 108% in my Fine Art course right now.

Yesterday, I just finished my first still life for a studio this year and we

are to take a digital picture of the artwork and send it in to our teacher.

I am no artist myself, but I try my best anyway. I thought I'd share with

all of you on here my final piece and see what you think. I'm not sure how

good/fair/poorly I did on it, but I'll find out soon enough once its evaluated.

"Crash Into Me" Albert Borris

If any of you have ever heard of Ellen Hopkins (author herself), she gave some insight on this book and shared her own personal knowledge with this author, Albert Borris. I read this book one day a work and it was a bit bizarre to be completely honest. I was good no doubt, just different than the perky romance stories I'm used to reading. This book is about four teens who have all attempted suicide yet failed and are now on a road trip to see the grave sites of their idols who have committed suicide as well. Once they see all four graves, their journey is said to end in Death Valley, CA...I'm sure you know what they plan on doing there; therefore I won't need to say the gruesome truth. These four teens share their stories with each other along the way. The hardships of their lives, their attempts to take themselves from this Earth, all the pain and suffering behind what the public eye sees. It may be a little depressing, but it has its happy and cheery (if you can call them that) moments as well.

"Message in a Bottle" Nicholas Sparks

I've never seen the movie to this book, so I can't tell you the differences and similarities or whether I liked one over the other. So I'll just tell you my opinions on this book. Of course, it's Nicholas Sparks, therefore I loved it. I seem to fall in love with all of his novels. What's new? I'm sure I'm not the only one. The only other love stories I can stand to read are Stephanie Meyer's 'Twilight' series. (*thousands of teenage girls screaming*) This book touched on the subject of death from the beginning. Garrett is a man in his thirties living life day to day suffering from the pain of his wife who died a few years ago. Theresa comes down to visit him to see the man who wrote the heartfelt letters full of grief and pain she uncovered one day. For anyone who's had a long distance relationship, this novel touches on the hardships of that...as if being in love with your deceased wife and a new woman wasn't hard enough.

Why not

You think you're going nowhere when you're walking down the street.
Acting like you just don't care when life could be so sweet.
So why you wanna be like that, This is nothing new .
You're not foolin no one you're not even foolin you.
So walk a little slower and open up your eyes;
sometimes its so hard to see the good things pass you by
There may never be a sign no flashing neon light tellin you to make your move
or when the time is right. So why not take crazy chance? why not do a crazy dance?
if you lose the moment you might lose a lot so why not.
instead of listenin' to your heart you do just what you're told
if you keep waiting where you are oh what you'll never know
You'll never get to heaven or even to LA if you don't beleive there's a way

why not take a star from the sky why not spread your wings and fly

It might take a little and it might take alot But why not why not

I must finish what I started

So just by looking at my blog you can see that I post reviews on the books

I've read. Wellll, I seem to have fallen a little bit behind. It's a lot of work

for me to sit here, get a picture of the cover from google, recollect the book,

type my thoughts/opinions/ feelings, and then do it again for the next book.

I'm not sure if anyone even cares that I do that, but it makes me feel like a-

well I don't know really, but a-something-important. And I kinda like knowing

people's opinions before I read a book so I don't know if anyone else agrees

or if I'm just weird-could be. But anywho:I'll play catch up sometime this

weekend. I saw Miss Brandie Renee Potzick posted a blog that she hasn't

forgotten about life here and I decided I should follow her idea and do the

same because it's rude to leave 7 blog followers hanging. (I'm not sure if its

7, but thats my guess). Anywayssss enjoy your labor day weekend everyone!

*If you're going anywhere please tell me so I can be jealous while I stay here. =\

Is this a bad thing??

-Something inside of me has changed-

No, not physically. And not really mentally either.

I guess you could say emotionally...?? Possibly.. I guess.

But something is very much different. A part of me wishes

I could just get my GED and be done with my academics;

but the other part of me is slapping myself silly with that

thought. Who are you kidding? A good education is what

is most important here. Why would you throw that away?

Stupid. Of course I want to go to college. Of course I

know where and what for. But why does it have to be so

da-gone expensive? A decent college costs as much as a

house these days. I can't make my parents pay for that!

-But in the mean time-

Other things have changed in such a short while it seems

as if it happened over night..I guess that's possible. You see

something from a different point of view or something new

opens your eyes and you can change like *that*. I don't really

feel comfortable saying exactly what did change me, but it was

something that made things that seemed important once to me,

now seem pointless. I don't feel that I need to be an A-list social.

I feel that texting to my close friends once in awhile will suffice for

hanging out with all of my friends (close and not so close) every

weekend or free day I have. I guess it's because my sister is pretty

much my best friend and I'm with her all the time so it feels like

I'm always with my closest friend. Sure I have others, but I feel

like they don't make too much of an effort anymore, so why should

I? Sure friendships and relationships need a little work from both

sides, but they shouldn't have to be forced. I guess I'm more focused

on my future and where I'm heading with my life as opposed to living

now and trying to make time stand still. It's not possible-so why try?

August 26-27

Sooo as you all probably know I went to Columbus yesterday

and last night to see the Jonas Brothers perform. My mom, sister,

and I left yesterday afternoon. We ate dinner then Jess and I got ready

and headed to the concert. Honor Society and the Wonder Girls

opened for them. (due to schedule conflicts Jordan Sparks couldn't

perform) but the highlight of my night was seeing those three

boys work their magic on stage. Jess and I were in the third row

so we got some awesome pictures that I put on facebook. The videos

I posted on my youtube channel (http://www.youtube.com/xjenniferlynnx).

It was an amazing night. One of the best parts was when Joe and Kevin

were on this rise thing and they were spraying people with guns that

shot out white foam. So since we were so close they sprayed us. The

life they were on went in a big circle and when they were right above us

Kevin looked down at me while squirting us and I blew him a kiss. (he

may not be Nick or Joe even, but still..)

But of course after an AHMAZEINGG night there has to be something bad

happen. And I awoke in the middle of the night with a burning feeling in my

chest and stomach. Then later on came the sharp pain on my ride side by

my hip bone. After a miserablely long ride back, my mom took me to our

family doctor and they told me to go to Childrens Hospital asap. Wow, way

to scare a kid people. I got an ultrasound (which was miserable since they make

you have a full bladder and they push on it the whole time) and they were looking

to see if I had appendicitis. I didn't -THANK YOU GOD.- But they did discover a

cyst I had. While they were pushing on my appendix it ruptured. Luckily, the fluid

was clear so they let me go and I am now in pain for the next week or so. Oh well,

I had a life changing night last night and nothing can bring me down. Not even a

ruptured cyst that hurts like the dickens.

"You Are Here" Jennifer E. Smith

This book was interesting. It wasn't as much of a romance story as I thought it would be, but it was still pretty good. Emma discovers she had a twin brother who died a few days after birth and she realizes this could be why she feels so lonely in life. Peter is miserable without his mother and just his father who he feels he isn't good enough for. Emma sets off to see her brother's grave and Peter joins her on the road trip. The two get to know each other along the way. I must say my favorite character is the three-legged stray dog they pick up along the way. I have a soft spot for animals and he is the cutest and best of friends. If I had to rate this book, I'd probably give it a 2 1/2 -3 stars (out of 5). Maybe it's just because it interrupted my Nicholas Sparks kick, I don't know. But it was still pretty good, especially since it only took me a day of work to read it.

"The Choice" Nicholas Sparksw

Nicholas Sparks is, without a doubt, my favorite author. This book, however, has been my favorite of his so far. I absolutely loved this book. It so realistic and I loved this love story. It was written a little different of a format than most of his other books. It was heart-wrenching and tear jerking. It touched my heart and will touch yours too. There are a few unexpected twists that can either end very bad or exceptionally good. Everyone wants and hopes for a fairy tail ending. This book was so amazing that I actually couldn't wait to get to work. Which is weird for me. There's not much else to say about this book other than its a really great romance novel and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

ugaahh

School. Work.

School. Dr. apt. Work.

School.

School. Work

School.

Work.

Day off!

Then it starts all over again.

Wow.

It just hit me as I woke up this morning that today is my last day of summer.

(not that my school is that demanding, but its no summer vacation either..)

Of course I'm not quite ready for school. For starters; my printer isn't working

so there goes half of my school work right there. When I found out that I could

graduate after this year-I'd have enough credits-I was excited at first. One less

year of school work. But then I really got to thinking and didn't know if I

actually wanted to. What would I do with my "Senior year". Work? Go

to college a year early? Leave and go live by myself and get a job? Well I

figured this all out thanks to a song. Yes, a song. I now have made all the

decisions to the questions that have been haunting me for the past few

weeks. I know what I want to do with my future. And for that, I started

to cry when I made that realization. Yes, I cried. But that's just the type of

person I am. Accept me. For I now know which way my life is going. (or rather

which way I want it to go.)

Why I had a good day

+So work is getting better. I'm getting the hang of it and it's getting easier.

+My mom is in a good mood (despite the massive cleaning for our party tomorrow)

+We have our family picnic tomorrow and I'm excited to see my cousin and her baby.

+I get to sleep in tomorrow morning!!

+My sister comes home Sunday

+My dad took me shopping today and bought me a new digital camera-see picture- as an early birthday present.

+I'm one day closer than yesterday to the Jonas Brothers concert!!! (3rd ROW BABY)

+My mom is making all of my favorite foods for tomorrow. Yummy yummy for Jennifer.

+I'm currently watching The O.C. (which is guaranteed for me to be in a good mood)

+TGIF. Which means its the weekend and I don't have to work until Monday night

+PEREZ HILTON RETWEETED TO ME ON TWITTER!!! boo-yah!

I'm excited about other things but I can't remember them at the time

"sTORI Telling" Tori Spelling

If you enjoy watching Tori & Dean:Home sweet Hollywood on 'Oxygen', then you'll love this book. I thought the show was stupid until I actually sat down and watched it. I loved it! And then I decided to read the book written by Tori Spelling herself. (this is her first of two books). I was interested in reading about her life told from her point of view and her side of the story; apart from what you see on T.V. and read in the tabloids. Tori has seen and done and experienced so much in her life I can now see why she is the person that she is today. She talks about her famous T.V. producer of a father and his spoiled wife who is a not-so-great mother, her acting career and how she got started, her relationships (which make me want to scream at her "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!"), and how she met her soulmate and current husband, and having her first child (Liam Aaron McDermott). I enjoyed this book and I am currently waiting for the library to call and let me know that her 2nd book, Mommywood, has arrived for me.

BTW:I'm, ironically, watching Tori & Dean: Home sweet Hollywood as I'm writing this.

Rambling

Lets see hereeee:

-Heath ledger's quote "Can you put a price on your dreams?" (as heard in Dr. Ingoriums Wonder

Emporium trailer) is sticking in my head right now and I'm pretty sure God has something to do

with this, as in it's a sign for me.

-I have an eye exam tomorrow which I'm really getting stressed/anxious about because I hate

how they dilate the pupils. eeeekk!

-I have to work for the first time by myself for a shift tomorrow. eeeeeekk (again!)& I have to drive to work with dilated pupils (zoinksss)

-My sister is in Michigan for the week with her boyfriend so that's one less week of being with

her before she goes back to college.

-This Saturday is our family picnic that we have each year with my mom's side of the family

and I guess I should be really looking forward to it...but I'm not as excited as I should be.

-I don't really expect anyone to care while reading this, I just wanted to vent and Twitter

only lets me enter 140 characters at a time...annnd I've been tweeting a lot today.

-My school lessons open next Monday (Aug. 17) So that is the start of my school year.

-I go to the JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT in two weeks!! (WED. AUG 26) in Columbus, OH

and as you are probably already aware..I AM SO PUMPED! WOOHOO.

-I've been experiencing random nauseous moments, head aches, blacking out, light headedness, high blood pressure (which is EXTREMELY rare for me.), and fatigue-for the past few weeks

and it's not getting better (YES, I'm complaining. I apologize. You don't have to read this though, that's all YOUR choice)

-I haven't really hung out with my friends in awhile since I started working..and also I don't feel like it too much because of me being weirdly ill (-at times-). And plus is the "end of summer blues"

-I haven't been reading as much as I normally do. Now the only times I read are at work. (which is a lot of free time, but still!) My library holds are all coming in and here I am slacking on my reading.

-I really want to get back into my violin lessons that I took a break from back towards the end

of June. I just don't have time (or the will) to practice..and that makes me disappointed in

myself because it's been a part of my life since I was a little kid (4th grade..thats a ways back)

and I want it to remain a part of my life for a long, long time. *Sighhh*

-Today I had a bad head ache so I didn't go to work and guess what...I'm still sitting in my PJ's

and it's almost 8 o'clock (PM!) I know-bum right?

-The best part of my days (the time I look forward to the absolute most) is at night when I am

lying in my bed trying to fall asleep..but I think by now both me AND MY BRAIN know I don't

want to sleep..I lie there and day dream (well its night time,so night dream) about how I

would love love love love love truly love my life to be. The song affects my mood and the

pictures I see in my head. I guess your life can be considered "unsatisfactory" when you actually

look forward to dreaming. Didn't Dr. Seuss once say "You know your life is great, when you

don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than your dreams." ** (something like that).

Well in this case, it is actually the opposite.

-I live on a one-day-at-a-time basis. I easily get anxious, stressed, worried, concerned, upset

with the future and I can drive myself crazy just thinking about it. (It happens too often)

So thanks for letting me rant. I should be good for awhile now =]

Heath Ledger's last film (trailer)

http://perezhilton.com/2009-08-11-first-trailer-of-heath-ledgers-last-film

I saw this on Perez's website and it made me sentimental.

God bless Heath Ledger (Rest in peace). & his family and friends

as well.

*I can't wait for this movie to come out. I really want to see the

last production project of Heath Ledger. He was (and will always

be)my favorite actor of all time.

I admire Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell for stepping

in once Heath Ledger passed. God bless you three as well.

"are u 4 real?" Sara Kadefors

It took me three days to read this book. (and I only read it during my free time at work..) It was definately a novel about teen romance. Two people from different places, with different lives meet in a chat room one night while they're both feeling upset. They take comfort in becoming virtual friends. They meet in real life. Of course every friendship has its own bumps in the roads. I wasn't sure how to book was going to end as I was reading at that point. All I knew was how I wanted it to end. I'm a sucker for sappy, honky-dory, happily ever after-type endings. I recommend this book if you are bored and want just a story to read about teens finding themselves and finding each other. There's not really much else to say.

Warning

I'm just gonna put this out there, but for those of you

who don't have a job...keep it that way. Jobs suckk

soo baddd. Yes,this blog is just going to be me complaining

about having a job. You literally sit there staring at the

clock thinking "move faster move faster" and you

actually WANT to go home..no matter how bad you

hate it there. :\ You go to bed at night thinking "uggg I

have to work tomorrow". Then you wake up in the morning

all happy and honky dory and then you remember "UGG I

have to work today!" I find myself wishing someone would

invent a 'Fast Forward' button for my life; just so I can

fast forward through the hours I work. Sure you get paid, but

when it all comes down to it, you just want to remain a kid

at heart for as long as you possibly can. So if you don't have a

job-REJOICE.

"The Chosen One" Carol Lynch Williams

"The Chosen One" is a novel that has a very different style apart from all the other books I've read in my life. I did, however, find it intriguing. It was pretty good to be set in a different type of lifestyle. It's the culture where they assign people who they marry. Young teens must marry older men. And those men must have at least three wives to go to heaven (or so they believe). Thirteen year old Kyra must marry her 60 year old uncle. Yet, she is in love with a young boy her age. It is against the Prophet to see him, however. They sneak out when it's dark. The boy, Joshua, tries to set it up so that he can Choose her and be her husband. The Prophet does not agree to this and Joshua is forced to flee leaving Kyra behind with only his promise to come back for her. Kyra has no choice but to leave, or marry her uncle. Reading this makes me grateful for our country giving us choices and guaranteed freedoms and rights.

e.E. Charlton Trujillo

e.E. Charlton Trujillo (AKA Unis) is the director of the (*hopefully* soon to be) T.V. drama "Fallen".

After working with her in her latest production in July 2009 I decided to read her two published books. They are short, yet full of emotions. They have similarities although she wrote them as separate stories. Unis is from Texas, therefore the stories take place in Texas. As I was reading these books, I couldn't believe the woman I had just worked with (and throughout the long filming days-randomly chatting with) had written these stories! It's truly amazing to know someone then read their work. I loved these books and I really think you guys would too.

"If the Witness Lied" Caroline B. Cooney

This book has an antagonist from Hell. I have never wanted to be inside a story, just so I can personally strangle the bad person myself. I kid you not. This book shows the true bonds of family love. Siblings must stick together to conquer their one and true enemy. Of course they're just kids trying to get through life after their parents died. Their mother was developing cancer while pregnant with the youngest sibling, Tris. The kemotherapy would kill her baby so she made the selfless decision to let the cancer take its course just so her baby can live. However, at the age of 2, Tris is said to have accidentally released the emergency brake in his father's jeep (while his father was searching for something underneath it), ending up killing his own father as well. -OR- did the one and only witness lie about the "accident"? Is she out to ruin their lives? Yes she is. I loved reading the bonds of these three children trying to survive these tough times when no one will listen to them. This is a short book that takes no time at all to read. I loved it and it made me go and hug my brother and sister once I finished it.

"The Lucky One" :Nicholas Sparks

On a rainy day what else is there to do but read? I read Nicholas Sparks' "The Lucky One", and just like all of his other novels, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was sad to come to the end because I fell in love with the characters. It's extra easy to take sides with the good people in this book. There is no contest. The antagonist does tend to make you want to throw the book at the wall, but the ending is truly satisfying. The climax was in an unusual place-it was at the end of the book. The whole story ending and conclusion to events is in the last 5-10 pages. I have loved EVERY novel by Nicholas Sparks. Truly inspirational.

weekend away

It was so nice to go to a different town and get away.

It was well overdue. Unfortunately, the missionaries came

while I was away and my mom got the pleasure of telling

them how much of a handful I am, and how childish I am,

and how I have no sense of mind, @#$%&^*. My brother

was the one who informed me of that...because my mom

won't even talk to me. I texted her Friday on my way to

Indianapolis and told her about the situation thinking

she'd forget about it by the time we got back. WRONG.

she called and was nOT HAPPY WHATSOEVER. And now

as I am back home, she is still not happy with me. And by

not happy I mean FURIOUS. sdgkjndafnadfjgh What am

I going to do? My goal for this week is to spend as little

time at home as possible. Give her time to cool off. yeah.

Oh good Lord

I saw this commercial to get a free Bible so I went to

the website to request one. After typing in all of

my information and requesting my free Bible, a notice

pops up and says missionaries will arrive in a few days.

HOLY GOD. I'd like the free Bible and all, thats great!

But missionaries en mi casa? THEY DIDN'T SAY THAT

ON THE COMMERCIAL OR BEFORE I ENTERED MY

ADDRESS AND AGE AND ALL. Can I sue this company

for sending strangers to my house? I know that'd be a sin

to sue a religious, non-profit organization...but they should

warn you that they're sending friggen missionaries to your

house! Remind me to tell my mom not to answer the door

when they come in the next few days. Good lord.

Don't request a Bible through Mormon something

or other. They'll send missionaries to your house.

(it's kind of like soliciting)

What to do?

Last night I had a dream and I KNOW it was from God.

It has to do with my future. I know I can take care of

myself. There are different possibilities as to where I

will take myself in life. I know where I want to go,

what I want to do, and who I want to be...I just don't

know how to get there. I know it will be hard and it

will take a lot of work and dedication and tough skin.

I can handle all of that. What I can't handle is making

the actual decision. I wish I knew how the future would

turn out depending on which way I choose to go. I know

I'm supposed to live in the moment. But what I do know

affects me later on. I need a guardian angel now more

than ever.

You may not know that:

-My confirmation name is Elizabeth.

-I have a cat named Fritzi and I've had her since 2nd grade.

-I got my first puppy last Christmas, and her name is Muffy-she's a shih-poo.

-I've been playing violin since 4th grade.

-My favorite vacation place is Disney World.

-When I turn 18 I am skipping college and moving to L.A. to start my own life.(say what you want)

-I have a soft spot for animals.

-I want to name my kids: Adam Joseph, Brody Adam (I know I used Adam twice) and either have a Noah and a Natalie (just to throw those in there as well)

-My favorite band is the Jonas Brothers

-I've had 7 or 8 different journals/diaries in the past.

-My favorite number is 9 because that is my favorite NASCAR driver's no. (Kasey Kahne!)

-My sister's dog was a stray that we saved and was named after Kasey Kahne.

-I also have 2 cats (Chloe & Pumpkin) and two other dogs not yet mentioned (Blackie & Bella)

-I want a new car (BMW X3)

-I wish I lived in CA;near a beach, with palm trees, sunny year round, and a place for my dreams.

-I am a tad bit materialistic, but it is mostly for myself.

-I do try to sing (if you watch my YouTube)

-I really enjoy meeting new people.

-I tend to lean more towards dark haired guys.(its just a majority I've noticed from the past)

-I like dying my hair different colors to see which I like best.

-My current obsession is Smoothie King.

-I have a crush on Harry Potter.

-I've seen every single episode of 'The OC'

-My all time favorite book is 'The Alchemist"

-I have read the 'Twilight' series 6 times.

-I love being filmed/photographed (which is good for my career choice)

-I prefer talking on the phone to texting.

-I have a bah habit of picking the split ends of my hair.

-I have a Mac laptop;which I am on way too much.

-I want to meet Rachel Bilson some day.

-One of my goals is to meet Jenny Craig before I die.

-I'm a republican.(although they tell me I'm not supposed to tell anyone..)

-I read a lot, I really love it!

-I'm a perfectionist.

-I am dyslexic.

-I have a muscle disease called fibromyalgia.

-I am an undiagnosed insomniac.

-I eat/write with my right hand but do everything else with my left.

-My favorite exercise is biking.

-I read the bible.

-I love the park.

-I love to bake. (my mom calls me Betty Crocker)

-I want to live in England for a while later in my life.

-I want to raise my kids to have english accents (see above^)

-I often think about the future. (yes, it scares me to death)

-My current favorite thing to do when I'm bored is making lists on my blog

I saw God today

So my mom got me a credit card to use for gas and "emergencies."

She let me keep it with me this past week just because it was more

convenient. Well, yesterday after getting my extensions taken out

(YES I DID IT!), My sister and I went to the mall to get Smoothie King.

Then we were walking through stores just looking and at 'Express' I saw

this super cool purse that was $60 and I thought "I can find a cheaper one".

We go through 'New York & Co.' And I see cute purses for $30-$40.Even

better! I said "lets go to Macy's and come back if I don't find anything"

Wellllll...Macy's had Dooney & Burkes and JEnnifer is helpless when

she is put in the same room as designer greatness. So my plastic beauty

paid for my GORGEOUS new Dooney & Burke purse. I was happy but

had that guilty feeling. When I got home my mom went BALISITIC .

As crazy as a mother can get when her daughter spends more money

than she could on her credit card for emergencies only. She gave me

the whole "you don't have a job, you can't support yourself, you know

darn well you shouldn't have spent this much money on just a purse!"

Yeah I don't have a job, but this is where the point of my story is:

I decided I should get a nice little job to pay for my own things and

to save up for when I move out on my own and for school/college/things

like that. Weellll God being the great Lord that he is intervened and I

didn't realize it at first.

Jo Hirlinger wrote on my wall on facebook offering me a job at

her dad's carlot. HOW EASSY IS THAT!? answer phones, 3 hours a night

a few times a week. And the pay is great! That night when I was saying

my prayers and falling asleep, it HIT ME! THE HEAVENLY FATHER I

HOLD FAITH IN WAS THE REASON FOR ALL THIS.

bottom line: I saw God today.

Good parts of life

-Rain at nighttime.

-Laughing until your stomach hurts.

-Finishing a good book.

-Driving with the windows down on a sunny day.

-Laying by the pool, getting warmed by the sun.

-Escalators.

-Smoothie King.

-My mom bringing me starbucks in the morning.

-My puppy sleeping next to me.

-Getting lost in music.

-Discovering something new about the world.

-Staying up late at night watching scary shows on t.v.

-Talking to that one guy who gives you butterflies in your stomach.

-Confiding in a close friend.

-Watching Jim Gaffigan on YouTube.

-Twitter.

-Wipeout (Wed. @ 8PM on ABC)

-That 70's show marathons.

-Flying in an airplane.

-Road trips.

-Taking a nap in the middle of the day.

-Sitting at the park.

-Capturing nature's true beauty.

-Reading the Bible.

-Looking at old pictures.

-Blogging.

-Pedicures.

-Sleeping through breakfast.

-Roller coasters.

-Talking on the phone for a long time.

-Buying new sunglasses.

-Bon fires.

-Spending time with momma.

-Drinking ice cold water when you're really hot.

-Knowing you have no school work during summer.

Belittled

Maybe I've been wrong all along.

Maybe I've been living in a fantasy.

Maybe I've failed to see what's right in front of me.

Maybe I've thought too positively.

Maybe I overlooked the small, yet true facts.

Maybe I was too hopeful.

Maybe I haven't been praying hard enough.

Maybe God can't hear me.

Maybe reality is stronger than any dream.

Maybe I set my goals too high.

Maybe I've been too busy dreaming it, not doing it.

Maybe all my dreams will come crushing down.

MAYBE MY MOM IS RIGHT.

Here we go again

What's that saying; Old habits die hard, is that it?

Yeah well if thats it BOY IS IT TRUE. good lord.

I feel like I'm part of the water cycle here.

And the part where I do the habit, yeah that's

precipitation. Then picking myself up and putting

me back together is evaporation. Trying my absolute

hardest to attempt in keeping my changed ways

is condensation and then my mind wins and that

means: when it rains IT POURS. Oh Lord.

I'm just gonna vent here

!@#$%^*($$@ l

sd,vndfmgn sdfjgheafdngkhdjaadfk jghkt dfhsgkadfjghdf

good lord!! I get so maddd at myself when these things

happen. like GOSH JENNIFER don't give in. be mean

not nice. Don't let people take advantage of you. I swear

on my life its so annoying and frustrating. (DONT WORRY

I'LL EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED) It just bugs me that

people only want to do "acting" so they can be rich, or

famous, or meet famous people and what not. GODDDD!

It makes me so mad and frustrated.

So here's the story:

This girl (yes I know her but haven't talked to her since

7th grade) messages me on facebook saying "Do you know

any good agents/websites/locations that are for acting. I want

to get into acting but I don't know EXACTLY how."

DUMB DUMB DUMB. this is the number one way to make me

so frustrated and mad. Like for real!?!?!?!!?

1)it's NOT THAT HARD. EVER HEARD OF GOOGLE!?!

2)We haven't talked in forever you're just using me.

WHY THE HECK DID I REPLY?!?

she doesn't want to do acting. It's not a passion she has.

She wouldn't tolerate the long days, the demanding rehearsals,

the cruelty and rejection of the industry. I KNOW I KNOW IKNOW!

SHE just wants to be famous. She just wants to brag to her friends.

She just wants to say "I live in Hollywood, I do acting, I'm rich,

I know famous people." GAHHHH AMETUER.! (i know its spelt

wrong.) I DONT CARE.

I have put so much into this just to get where I am (which isn't too far).

My parents spent boocoo bucks on acting lessons I've been taking for

a year. 18 HOURS A WEEKEND! I leaarn the businesss and I enjoy it

because it is what I truly love. I left high school so it wouldn't hold me

back from auditions. and guess what I WAS RIGHT AND MADE A GOOD

DECISION WITH THAT. OR ELSE I WOULDNT HAVE AN AGENT OR

HAVE GONE TO ALL THOSE AUDITIONS. OR HAVE GONE TO THOSE

PHOTOSHOOTS TO GET MY HEADSHOTS AND PICTURES TO SEND OUT.

I'm more than dedicated to this. (not that other actors aren't, I'm sure they

can empathize with me) BUT WHY THE HECK DID I REPLY TO HER!?

I SHOULDN'T HAVE SHOULDN'T HAVE SHOULDN'T HAVE! DANGIT!

IT JUST MAKES ME SO MAD. I DEDICATE SO MUCH WORK INTO THIS.

EVERY DAY I PRACTICE EVERY OTHER MONOLOGUE I HAVE MEMORIZED.

YES I HAVE 6 MONOLOGUES MEMORIZED FOR AUDITIONS. this girl

doesn't even know what a monologue is I KID YOU NOT!!. it just makes me

so mad she all of a sudden decides she's going to ask JENNIFER ON FACEBOOK

HOW TO DO ACTING BECAUSE SHE WOULD LOOK SO COOL TO EVERYONE

I'm really sorry for this but I really really really needed to vent. I didn't

really expect anyone to care or read the whole thing. but I didn't want to

go punch a wall or anything (no, I don't need anger management [: thanks)

DOES ANYONE ELSE AGREE WITH ME THOUGH?!?!?!??!

Blast from the past

Today's "Blast from the Past" is featuring:

WHO? : Brandie Potzick

WHERE? : Washington D.C. (as seen in pic.)

WHEN? : 8th grade. (May 2007)

WHY? : Brandie & I went to Panera today and caught up and reminisced and talked of old times. I decided this picture fitted in perfectly with my life as of this day.

Necessito sus opinones

Sooo, next Friday I have a hair apt to get my extensions moved up

(they're on little beads and as my hair grows out, every so many weeks

I go back and get them moved back up). I've had extensions since

February. I'm thinking it's time for a change. I know my mom put a lot

of money into these but I think I'm ready to part with them. I'm torn

because I feel like they're a big part of my looks and I need them with

my career. (now, how logical or illogical that sounds, I'm not so sure.)

But here's why I want them out:

-They're heavy, especially when I put my hair up. It slides out and hurts

after awhile.

-I feel like I can't do much with them except wavy or straight.

-I can't pull my hair up/back certain ways because you will see the

beads they are on.

-My hair is actually only about 2 inches shorter than the actual extensions

now so its almost as long as them. therefore extensions are pointless now.

-It's just time for a change.

-Time to go back to all natural.

TELL ME YOUR OPINION PLEASEEEE.

I miss my friend..

Let's call this friend Rock. (so you don't know if its a boy or girl, but by the way I talk about Rock, you'll probably be able to figure it out.) It all started in the beginning of 6th grade. I thought Rock was so cool and I really wanted to be Rock's friend. And in 6th grade Rock was in my class so we grew to be very close friends. Rock would come over to my house and we'd have sleepovers and have so much fun. (you probably just figured out Rock's gender...told you.) Anywho, Rock introduced me to cheerleading and we were so so close. We both made the cheerleading squad in 7th grade and that made me feel even closer and more appreciative of Rock. Rock had introduced me to this new passion I had no idea I had or even held talent for. Sure we had a few ups and downs but which close friends don't? Yeah. So anyways, in Jr. High, Rock and I were still friends through cheerleading but we had aquired new friends and different cliques, and circles, to hang around. Of course that was okay. I felt like I could lean onto Rock because Rock was going through some rough things but I looked up to Rock as a solid figure. Once high school came around, we were still friends through cheerleading and even had a class or two together so we still chatted. Then sophomore year we had no classes, no cheerleading, nothing to keep our friendship together. Of course we still said Hi in the hallways and smiled at eachother and talked if we saw eachother after school at friends' lockers, but other than that, Rock and I had lost touch. Then I left school and we only talked virtually and not even real concersations.

Last night I had a dream about Rock, and we were at this weird camp (I'm not sure where, but that's how dreams go.) and I loved that we were really close and really great friends again. It made me miss the days in the past when we were so close. I'm not sure if Rock will read this or not, and even if Rock does, I don't know if they will realize this is directed towards them. Rock you are still in my heart. You will always be. I will always desire your friendship and cherish the amazing moments we had. I love you Rock ,and I always will.

I miss my Rock.

Pumpkin after Catnip consumption

New experience

Am I nervous? OF COURSE

Am I excited? ABSOLUTELY

Am I anxious? A LITTLE BIT

Am I ready? AS MUCH AS I'LL EVER BE

Am I prepared? PROBABLY NOT AS MUCH AS I SHOULD

Am I certain? AM I EVER..?

Am I wishful? EVERYDAY

Am I thinking positively? WITH EVERY THOUGHT

Am I worried? I'LL LEAVE THAT TO MY MOM

Am I hopeful? ALWAYS

Am I holding steady? I'VE NEVER BEEN STEADY

Am I new to this? 100% !!!!!

DO I HOLD FAITH IN THE LORD? EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY

"Dont wanna be torn"

I have a decision to make. It is completely my choice. No one can answer

this for me. It's all on me. So do I say 'Yes' or answer with a firm 'No'...

I wish there was a sign. Something to show me what the right choice

would be. I've considered all of the possibilities of both outcomes.

The negatives aren't enough to overrule the positives. However, I

don't want to regret this. Whether its sooner or later. Regret is what

I am trying to avoid. I know the quote "don't regret anything because

at one point it was what you really wanted." I just don't have

enough faith in myself to make the right choice with nothing bad to follow.

*I found this song. And it says it all. Listen to your heart.*

Maybe its the things I say
Maybe I should think before I speak
But I thought I knew enough to know myself
And do whats right for me

And these walls I'm building now
You used to bring them down
The tears I'm crying out
You used to wipe away


I thought you said it was easy
Listenin' to your heart
I thought you said I'd be ok
So why am I breaking apart?
Don't wanna be torn

Maybe I should choose
Between what I want
And what you think I need

Cause I'll always be your little girl
But even little girls have got to dream
Now it all feels like a fight
You were always on my side
All I need now
Is to make it go away

I thought you said it was easy
Listenin' to your heart
I thought you said I'd be ok
So why am I breaking apart?
Don't wanna be torn

Why is all this so confusing?
Complicated and consuming
Why does all this make me angry?
Wanna go back to being happy

Cause here I'm crying now
Trying to walk away

I thought you said it was easy
Listenin' to your heart
I thought you said I'd be ok
So why am I breaking apart?
Don't wanna be torn

So far so great

Off to the races
I'm going places
Might be a long shot
Not gonna waste it
This is the big break
And it's calling my name
Yeeeaah

So far so great, get with it
At least that's how I see it
Having a dream's just the beginning
So far so great, believe it
Can’t take away this feeling
Taking a ride with chance to my side
Yeah, I can't wait
So far, so great

Might need to wing it
Still gonna bring it
Not gonna sink low
I'm going swimming
Swing for the fences
Sky's not the limit today
Yeeeaah

So far so great, get with it
At least that's how I see it
Having a dream's just the beginning
So far so great, believe it
Can’t take away this feeling
Taking a ride with chance to my side
Yeah, I can't wait
So far, so great

Everyone says don't get your hopes up
Learn the ropes and climb the ladder
I know in the end that just being here is the best
And it only gets better, it only gets better

So far so great, get with it
At least that's how I see it
Having a dream's just the beginning
So far so great, believe it
Can’t take away this feeling
Taking a ride with chance to my side
Yeah, I can't wait
So far, so great
I can't wait
So far so great

Filming schedule

Pre-shoot

Wed(7/8):Final wardrobe fitting @6PM

Thurs(7/9):Meeting with crew @5PM

Filming days/times:

Sat(7/11):8AM-7PM

Sun(7/12):8AM-6PM

Mon(7/13):11AM-8:45PM

Tues(7/14):7PM-11:30PM

Wed(7/15):6:30PM-10:30PM

Thur(7/16):2PM-6PM

Fri(7/17):7PM-12AM

Sat(7/18):6PM-1AM

Employed!

So today my sister, brother and his friend, and I went to Kings Island

today and it was a blast (although I was there just Thursday with Marci,

Jacbob, and Tim). However the most exciting part was the carride back.

My mom called and asked where we were. I told her we were on our way

home and would be there soon.

Her reply: "Okay, I've got something important

to tell you.

Me:"Tell me now."

Her:"I can't I'll start to cry again."

(Of course I make her tell me right then and there if it's that

important and emotional.)

Turns out:

I GOT THE PART FOR THE PRODUCTION I AUDITIONED FOR THE

A FEW WEEKS AGO.HOLY EFFING MOLY THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!

All I have to say is:Thank you Lord God. I couldn't have done this without you.

You work miracles in ways that I can never detect. But I have faith. I had faith

all along this journey. And as this journey carries on I will continue to hold

my faith in you and all my trust and love. Thank you Lord, for EVERYTHING.

"Identical" Ellen Hopkins

This book was incredibly insightful. One word I would use to describe it: EYE OPENING! It's about two twin sisters who struggle with a mother who doesn't care anymore and a father who is abusive (with drugs/alcohol, and sexually). They hide all of their problems from the world. After an accident, their family was never the same. The mom was rarely home and the father was extremely controlling and as you can see, very messed up with life. They have to put on pretty smiling faces to the public because their mom is in politics so everyone knows who they are. The ending was what you would call 'unexpected'! If you ever saw the movie The Uninvited, the endings in that and in this novel are kind of similar in a way or so. I did not see it coming at all! I must say this book was very dear to the heart. I love the way Ellen Hopkins wrote it. I am definately going to read her other books as well!

FAVORITE QUOTE:

"You are my glue. Without you, I'd be nothing but broken pieces."

'Miles to Go' Miley Cyrus

This book was exceptionally good. I think it was so so so soooo inspirational. She really explains her life story well. I admit that I was a little bias against her from what I heard through the media. However, the way she explains things in her book clears things up and tells what truly was going on in her life. And of course, she would know best. I would find amazing quotes throughout the memoir and I wrote my favorite ones down. I honestly think you should go get a copy and read it because it is so inspirational and true to the heart. By the end, I didn't want it to be over.

"You realize you have one life-and you have to live fully for the moments you have. There can't be room for nerves."

"Beauty is the enemy. We try to conquer not feeling beautiful all our lives. It's a battle that can't be won. There's no definition of beauty. The only way to achieve beauty is to feel it from inside without breaking it down into physical attributes."

"The biggest moments of insecurity come when all self confidence is lost and you feel like people are watching and judging. It should be the opposite. You should feel like the people who are watching care about you. This is something we can try to give each other-the feeling that eyes signal support, not disdain."

"Embarrassment is the worst. Its the feeling of having your entire body go numb and not knowing what to do with yourself for that one moment. There's no solution to embarrassment. It happens and you just have to put it behind you."

"Fear is the only obstacle that gets in the way of doing what we love. People are scared to travel, to try new things, to follow their dreams. Fear holds us back from living the lives we were made to live."

"Success is the progressive realization of worthy ideas or goals." -Billy Ray Cyrus

"Well don't be scared of anything. People waste their lives being scared. Lasso the moon. But don't do it because someone tells you its the right idea." -Cyndi Lauper

"Faith is having the strength to trust in something that you can't see with your eyes or prove scientifically. You believe because your heart tells you that's where you should go or who you should be. Your heart tells you what is right."

"If there's one message I have for my fans, it's that you can make your dreams real, but you have to enjoy just being. Make the best of the life you have every day. I can't wait to see what's in the days ahead, but I also don't want to fill them up too fast."