All in all

To sum my week up, I've been getting pretty down on myself.

I don't know why I'm so hard on myself at times. I've never

thought of myself as a 'perfectionist' per say..but there has to

be some OCD thing going on here. I feel that I have to bend

over backwards to even try to please myself. Call me crazy

but I'm pretty sure that's not healthy. Say I go to an audition

and I don't get praised for my work then I go home and beat

myself up for not doing better, or giving it my all, or not being

more upbeat and personable and delivering whatever monologue

or scene or script reading I did. I guess I just really, really, REALLY,

hate it here in Ohio. I know that my dreams won't become a reality

here..but it's not like I can control where I live...yet. It seems to be

all I think about these days:what I want from life, what I want to

do with my life, where I want to be, who I want to associate with,

who I want to involve myself with, who I want to be friends with,

who I don't want to be friends with, what I do day in and day out,

where I want to live, the exact location of where I want to live my

life. I won't say exactly, but I'm just going to put this out there:

it's not here.

Quote of my life

The dreams that you hold for your future are what you

dream about at night. They're always at the back of

your mind. They're what your heart desires. They keep

you going. Accept reality and have a backup plan, but

always follow your dreams no matter what.

Miley Cyrus "Miles to go"

Dream big

Torture

I have a passion burning inside of me.

It's always in the back of my mind.

It's always there in my dreams.

Every breath I take, it fills me

with desire. Every step I take

is one step closer to either extreme

hope and achievement or severe

disappointment. Every thought that

passes through my head is tied to it.

All the songs I hear, every note I sing.

Every word that escapes my lips is

spoken upon my dream. Every prayer

I say. Every night I spend lying awake

just thinking about how great my life

would be. How set I would be for the future.

How I am more than ready for this change.

I will do anything it takes. I will go anywhere

I must. To achieve my dreams I would go

to the ends of the Earth, the most extremes

of the universe. I look deep into my heart and

I can feel it beating with this burning desire

to act.

Linsay Lohan- down the tubes

http://perezhilton.com/2009-06-28-do-you-like-my-sexy-body

^The article tells all.

Current obsessive song

P.Y.T (Pretty young Thing)

-MICHAEL JACKSON

**With all of the radio stations playing his songs in memory of

him, I have become re-obsessed with P.Y.T. <3

Where Did You Come From Lady
And Ooh Won't You Take Me There
Right Away Won't You Baby
Tendoroni You've Got To Be
Spark My Nature
Sugar Fly With Me
Don't You Know Now
Is The Perfect Time
We Can Make It Right
Hit The City Lights
Then Tonight Ease The Lovin' Pain
Let Me Take You To The Max


I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
And I'll Take You There
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
I'll Shake You There


Anywhere You Wanna Go


Nothin' Can Stop This Burnin'
Desire To Be With You
Gotta Get To You Baby
Won't You Come, It's Emergency
Cool My Fire Yearnin'
Honey, Come Set Me Free
Don't You Know Now Is The Perfect Time
We Can Dim The Lights
Just To Make It Right
In The Night
Hit The Lovin' Spot
I'll Give You All That I've Got


I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
And I'll Take You There
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
I'll Take You There

Breakdown
Pretty Young Things, Repeat After Me
[Michael] I Said Na Na Na
[P.Y.T.'S] Na Na Na
[Michael] Na Na Na Na
[P.Y.T.'S] Na Na Na Na
[Michael] Na Na Na
[P.Y.T.'S] Na Na Na
[Michael] I Said Na Na Na Na Na
[P.Y.T.'S] Na Na Na Na Na
[Michael] I'll Take You There


I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
And I'll Take You There
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
I'll Take You There

Holy crap-RIP Billy Mays

IMPORTANT:

**Billy Mays was found dead in his home in Florida

Sunday (today) June 28.

This has to be a week in history.

1)Ed McMahon

2)Farrah Fawcett

3)Michael Jackson

& now 4) Billy Mays

Read Article here:

http://perezhilton.com/2009-06-28-rip-278

CPDRC "Thriller" dance routine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o

1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial

Detention and Rehabilitation Center,

Cebu, Philippines at practice! This is not the final routine,

and definitely not a punishment! just a teaser

R.I.P MJ

According to Perez Hilton and TMZ:

Michael Jackson has passed away from

cardiac arrest. No no no no no!! How

can this happen?! Farrah Fawcett died

this morning and now Michael Jackson

this evening? Sad, sad, sad, :\

Rest In Peace MJ.

-You as well Miss Fawcett

<3

Inspiring song

"Before the Storm"

-Jonas Brothers Feat. Miley Cyrus

***I don't know if anyone even reads the lyrics all the way through

or even at all but every song I put on here isn't just because I like

it, it's because the lyrics are meaningful and inspirational. They help

me and not only do I listen to the songs, I read the lyrics...especially

when I'm going through a rough time or need some spirit lifting.

I know this isn't what I wanted,
I never thought it come this far,
Just thinking back to where we started,
And how we lost all that we are.
We were young and times were easy.
But I could see it's not the same.
I'm standing here but you don't see me,
I'd give it all for that to change.
But I don't want to lose her,
Don't wanna let her go.
Standin' out in the rain,
Need to know if it's over,
'Cuz I will leave you alone.
I'm flooded with all this pain,
Knowing I'll never hold her
Like I did
Before the storm
(Yeah, before the storm)
With every strike of lightning,
Comes a memory that lasts.
And not a word is left unspoken,
As the thunder starts to crash.
Maybe I
Should give up.
Standin' out in the rain,
Need to know if it's over,
'Cuz I will leave you alone.
I'm flooded with all this pain,
Knowing I'll never hold her
Like I did
Before the storm
Trying to keep
The lights from going out
And the clouds from ripping out my broken heart.
They always say,
That a heart is not a home
Without the one who gets you through the storm.
Standin' out in the rain,
Knowin' that it's really over.
Please don't leave me alone.
I'm flooded with all this pain,
Knowing I'll never hold ya,
Like I did,
Before the storm.
(The storm)
Like I did
Before the storm

Offically diagosed with Blogging addiction

For all of you who said blogging becomes addicting...you were right!

I have officially become a blogging addict. I kid you not. I find myself

thinking about things to blog about and spending more time on here

than on any other website. (welllll..it's kinda tied with TWITTER)

just because twitter is equally as addicting. But the more blog

followers I have the more I feel I need to post on here..and as

of now I only have 6 followers ..which is actually quite pathetic

but ...yeah. Anywho I hope everyone else on here is just as

pathetically addicted as I am so that I'm not alone.. :)

PicShare

I decided to share this picture with all of you,

It was Sammi, Marci, and Casey's last day of school and after their exams we went to greendale to see 'Drag Me to Hell'.

Yeah, it was kinda scary. But there were only 2 other people in the theatre. And this picture was on Casey's camera

so of course I didn't find it until today (3 weeks later..) haha but oh well. Atleast I found it!

P.S. I only look really pale because I

was taking the picture and I

was right by the flash..just so

you all know.

http://perezhilton.com/2009-06-23-joe-jonas-takes-swipe-at-taylor

HAHAH this is a link to Perez Hilton's website where

he has an article about Joe Jonas at his concert and changes

the lyrics in the Jonas song "Much Better" from 'now I'm

done with super stars'...to 'now I'm done with COUNTRY

stars'. This was him taking a stab at Taylor Swift. HAHAH!

Watch around 0:10 or a little after to watch Nick's reaction.

He sits down and laughs REAL big. and you can see it.

Discovery

I got these from Jojo's facebook! I totally forgot about them :)

Laaaame

Ohio+weather=SUCKS!

sorry for the language but

forreal. It's june and summer

and I would like to swim and

get a nice golden, brown tan

and look like I came from

Hawaii. But nooooo. That's

apparently not what's  happening

with mother nature. I wonder if

I ever did something to provoke

her to make this weather make

me miserable.? No-I recycle.

Anyways..Kelly May you should

come to my house one of these days

because you're actually quite close

to me. And I haven't seen you in 

quite awhile. But my mom keeps

being anal (is that spelt correctly?)

about our house being so sparkling

clean. And every 3 days she insists

we clean it..again. Well let me know

because I'm going crazy over here.

Except I'm about to go to my audition

so my mind is kind of occupied at the moment.

God bless me with some good luck, I want

this more than anythingggggg!

JB Recording "Poison Ivy"

Following my dreams

So today my mom, dad, sister, and I were on

our way to go shopping at Bridgewater falls

when I received a call from the producer

of the t.v. show I auditioned for last week.

.........................................................................

Monday I am scheduled to go back for a 

CALLBACK! I know I know. woohoo Jenn

callback. But its exciting for me! A callback

is make-it-or-break-it. It's either sealing the

deal or losing the deal (deal or no deal-ha; like

the tv show) Anyyywhooooo...wish me luck,

keep your fingers crossed, and say a prayer

for me.  Thanksss!! (:

& thank you Lord, I know this is all you. <3

'Black Keys' -JB

She walks away
The colors fade to gray
Every precious moments now erased

She hits the gas
Hopeing it would pass
But the red light starts to flash
It's time to wait

And the black keys never looked so beautiful
And a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull
And the lights out
Never had this brighter glow
And the black keys showing me a world I never know
A world I never knew

She loves the sun
Cause it proves she's not alone
And the world doesn't revolve around your soul
She loves the sky cause it validates her pride
Never lets her know when is wrong

And the black keys never looked so beautiful
And a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull
And the lights out
Never had this brighter glow
And the black keys showing me a world I never know

Yeah
The walls are closing in
Don't let em get
Inside of your head
Don't let em get
Inside of your head
Don't let em get
Inside of your head
Don't let them inside

Cause the black keys never looked so beautiful
And a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull
Oh-oh
And the lights out never had this brighter glow
And the black keys showing me a world I never know

Don't let em get
Don't let em get
Inside of your head
No
Don't let em get yeah
Inside of your head
Don't let em get
Don't let em get
Inside of your head
Don't let em get
Oh-oh
Inside of your head

Sometimes a fight is better black and white

This weather is not what I like

This stupid Ohio weather is making me gloomy.

This is called SUMMER VACATION..meaning 

summer weather. Not depressing clouds and

rainy days. I want 90 degree weather, lots and

lots of sun to lighten my hair and darken my skin

and to make my pool look inviting! I always

ask the good Lord to please please please lighten

this weather and make it enjoyable to be outside

and not stuck indoors and boring..I guess he's just

making me wait a bit so that I will appreciate it

all that much more when it comes (in a week or two)

Okay God, I trust you man.

Newest Favorite song

JONAS BROTHERS "TURN RIGHT"

I could pick up all your tears
throw em in your backseat
leave without a second glance
somehow i'm to blame
for this never-ending racetrack you call life

turn right
into my arms
turn right
you won't be alone
you might
fall off this track sometimes
hope to see you on the finish line

driving all your friends
At a speed they cannot follow
soon you will be on your own
somehow i'm to blame
for this never-ending racetrack we call life

turn right
into my arms
turn right
you won't be alone
you might
fall off this track sometimes
hope to see you on the finish line

i did all i could
and i gave
everything
but you had to go your way
and that road was not for me

so turn right
into my arms
turn right
you won't be alone
you might
fall off this track sometimes
hope to see you on the finish line

Sunday June 14, 2009

KINGS ISLAND PICTURES :)

Me, Aaron(brother), and Jess(sister)

Jess & I with Diego!

Jess & I on the Beast

Kings Island

WOOHOO! I love Kings Island.

This was my 2nd trip this season.

But this time instead of going with

my bestie, Marci, I went with my

familia (Mom, Dad, Aaron, friend-Mark,

and Jessica) It was so fun. But on Son of

Beast it was so wild it somehow worked 

the ball of my bellybutton ring so i was 

paranoid about it for the rest of the day.

But during lunch we saw a country performing

show and as silly as it was, I truly enjoyed it.

It started to rain towards the end but it felt

really good. The only scary thing was on the

way back it was storming and my sister was

driving my brother, his friend, and I and the

highway was flooded and we were going 15 MPH.

It was raining so hard you couldn't see anything!

But luckily God got us home safely. Thank you

Lord. Today was amazing. Anyone who has a gold

pass, let me know and we can go to Kings Island

(as long as I know you :P )

I wish

I wish I had my own personal bible. 

One that I could read every night before

I fell asleep. One that I could learn from. 

One to make me a better person. To teach

me the ways of God and Christ. Some 

people may not agree with me. But I,

I think it is a good, solid, thing to rely on.

Emotionally, mentally, yeah. All of that.

Sissy

My sister is home :) Yay!

I was so excited that she's

home...but it feels like she never

left. This morning at like 9:30

I climbed into her bed and she

woke up and saw me (oops I

didn't mean to wake her). But

I had forgotten that she was even

home! Haha. Anyways, she is coming

to support me (along with my mom)

at my audition and then we're going

shopping and having a night out on

the town. Too bad this weather stinks.

Schedule

Wednesday:Prepare ACT material

Thursday:Move Jess back home

Friday:Audition for trailer (TV series)

Saturday:Audition & ACT classes (9AM-6PM)

Sunday:ACT classes (9AM-6PM)

Monday:Catch up on sleep!

Tuesday:Jonas Brother's "Lines, Vines, and Trying Times" album comes out!

I'm busier in the summer than during the school year.

But it's a GOOD busy :)

Luck turning around?

So Yeah I don't know how (or if) you can delete blogs posted. I accidentally

pressed 'enter' after typing the title to the blog posted before this but

whatever .

ANYWHO WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY IN THAT WAS:

So my day isn't going so well. My mom is a ....yeah. and I'm

in pain (like heart attack pain) and I'm moping in my bed

just laying there playing around on my phone when my mom

storms in and throws the phone at me and says "here talk, its

your agency". Turns out they have an audition they want me to

go to Friday. It's for a trailer that a production company hopes 

to bloom into a t.v. series if the trailer goes over well. Wish me

luck and hopefully this is the first step to following my dreams.

Thank you Lord. I promise to be loyal and faithful and work my

absolute hardest. Please watch over me.

Frustrating

So my debit card number got hacked from a website I ordered

from and someone was using it. My mom called the bank and

told them. They blocked my card and looked into it. Turns

out they can't prove that someone else did it since they

have my card number and expiration date and everything.

So now my mom thinks I'm a retard and don't remember

using my card those days when I KNOW  I didn't. God! She

thinks I'm lying to her about the whole thing now. Yeah, I'm

gonna tell you I didn't do those purchases, someone else did.

IT'S THE TRUTH. Good Lord I wouldn't lie about something

like this! And to top it all off I'm feeling stress in my chest and

it's like I'm having a freaking heart attack. Maybe if I keel over

dead my mom will believe me about all of this. DOUBT IT.

Jonas Brothers "Fly with Me"

Thanks JayRae

As you can see my blog looks much better

and more colorful and way cooler. all probos

(I'm not sure what "probos" means but I read

it somewhere so I hope I'm using it right) to

JESSICA RAE :) thanks hun!

I felt she deserved her own blog post

since she sent me the link to the site

that I got this awesome template from.

Blogging Retardation

So I look at other people's blogs and

they're all decked out a d fancy and

then I see mine and how boring and

plain and simple it is. @#$%^&*

Would someone like to help

Jennifer and her rare Blogging

Retardation illness? that would be

great!! :)

It's tough being the slow one :\

Newest Favorite song

JONAS BROTHERS: "FLY WITH ME"

If time was still The sun would never never find us We could light up The sky tonight I would see the world through your eyes Leave it all behind  If it's you and me forever If it's you and me right now That'd be alright Be alright We're chasing stars to lose our shadow Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine So won't you fly with me  Oh yeah Gotta fly with me now  Now the past Can come alive And give it meaning And a reason To give all I can To believe once again  If it's you and me forever If it's you and me right now That'd be alright Be alright We're chasing stars to lose our shadow Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine So won't you fly with me  Maybe you were just afraid Knowing you were miles away From the place where you needed to be And that's right here with me  It's you and me forever You and me right now That'd be alright We're chasing stars to lose our shadow Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine So won't you fly with me  If it's you and me forever If it's you and me right now I'd be alright Be alright We're chasing stars to lose our shadow Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine So won't you fly Fly Fly  With me

Jessica Lynn Wickman

My sister comes home from college for the summer this friday

(6-12-09).I can't wait! My mom and I get to help her move out

and I get to ride with my sister for the 3 hours trip back. But

I'm super excited because I've missed her so much! Yesterday,

my mom and I went up there to take her some things to pack her 

stuff into. We had our two puppies with us. Her boyfriend came

with us to dinner at Bennigan's (which is amazing!!) He is

a super sweet gentleman and he is so great to my sister

and he's really nice and social to me and my mom. Which is

a very good quality in a boy. I can't wait until he comes

and visits us this summer. I'm in such a great mood. Summer

fever has hit me and it has hit me hard. <3

Thurs/Fri 6/4 & 6/5

Soo here it goes:

Movies with Marci, Sammi, & Casey (we saw Drag Me to Hell-freakky movie!)

Then me and Marci left to pick up our sibs from school and take them home.

Then we met Sammi and Casey at O'Charleys . Then we went back to Casey's

where we played Twister Moves & Catch Phrase. Sammi and I left to gas up

my car and stop by her house while Marci and Casey went to Marci's house

to get a phone charger and movies. Then we went back to Casey's and watched

The House Bunny and something else (I don't remember). Then we all got hungry

so me and Sammi made a late night run to McDonald's and Taco Bell. (After eating

McDonald's fries I seriously thought I had food poisoning because Sammi and I were

both feeling sick, and they were GROSS) Then we watched Twilight until 1AM (way 

after Marci and Casey passed out) and Sammi and I shut it off and I layed in the

dark trying to fall asleep until almost 3AM! Then I woke up at 6AM because Marci

and I had planned to go to Waffle House after we dropped her sister off at school.

Turns out, we could go straight to Waffle House where we ran into my mom

and brother! :] We got free breakfast (mi madre paid (: ) and now I am waiting

for Marci to come over and we are going to lay out by my pool all day.

SWEET SUMMER TIME RIGHT?! :)

Funniest thing ever :)

My mother

Everyone has those moments when they can't stand

their mom. I have those often too. She gets in bad

moods and can be very irritable but at the end of 

the day, I still love her. She supports me with

everything I do..or want to do.  She's there to

laugh with, to cry with, to be bored with,

or just to be with. I know she'll go with me,

whichever way my path shall lead me. When

I was little, she would lead and I would follow.

Now, we stand side by side and conquer all 

obstacles that stand before us. I love you Mom.