All in all

To sum my week up, I've been getting pretty down on myself.

I don't know why I'm so hard on myself at times. I've never

thought of myself as a 'perfectionist' per say..but there has to

be some OCD thing going on here. I feel that I have to bend

over backwards to even try to please myself. Call me crazy

but I'm pretty sure that's not healthy. Say I go to an audition

and I don't get praised for my work then I go home and beat

myself up for not doing better, or giving it my all, or not being

more upbeat and personable and delivering whatever monologue

or scene or script reading I did. I guess I just really, really, REALLY,

hate it here in Ohio. I know that my dreams won't become a reality

here..but it's not like I can control where I live...yet. It seems to be

all I think about these days:what I want from life, what I want to

do with my life, where I want to be, who I want to associate with,

who I want to involve myself with, who I want to be friends with,

who I don't want to be friends with, what I do day in and day out,

where I want to live, the exact location of where I want to live my

life. I won't say exactly, but I'm just going to put this out there:

it's not here.