Is this a bad thing??

-Something inside of me has changed-

No, not physically. And not really mentally either.

I guess you could say emotionally...?? Possibly.. I guess.

But something is very much different. A part of me wishes

I could just get my GED and be done with my academics;

but the other part of me is slapping myself silly with that

thought. Who are you kidding? A good education is what

is most important here. Why would you throw that away?

Stupid. Of course I want to go to college. Of course I

know where and what for. But why does it have to be so

da-gone expensive? A decent college costs as much as a

house these days. I can't make my parents pay for that!

-But in the mean time-

Other things have changed in such a short while it seems

as if it happened over night..I guess that's possible. You see

something from a different point of view or something new

opens your eyes and you can change like *that*. I don't really

feel comfortable saying exactly what did change me, but it was

something that made things that seemed important once to me,

now seem pointless. I don't feel that I need to be an A-list social.

I feel that texting to my close friends once in awhile will suffice for

hanging out with all of my friends (close and not so close) every

weekend or free day I have. I guess it's because my sister is pretty

much my best friend and I'm with her all the time so it feels like

I'm always with my closest friend. Sure I have others, but I feel

like they don't make too much of an effort anymore, so why should

I? Sure friendships and relationships need a little work from both

sides, but they shouldn't have to be forced. I guess I'm more focused

on my future and where I'm heading with my life as opposed to living

now and trying to make time stand still. It's not possible-so why try?