Texts from Last night

I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.

you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

if i died would you start the facebook group?

He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

LETS GO REDSKINS!
- Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.

Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did

all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.

some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page

youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?

How did people poop without Blackberrys?
- Motorola Razers?
- Stone age, man.